The other day I meet an old friend actually a mutual friend of Sonny's dad (SG) and I. MM, our friend was so happy to see me after almost a year of what he insisted, was me avoiding him. When SG and I started seriously dating, MM cautioned me about SG telling me that I would not be an exception to the long line of broken hearts, 'Majuto ni mujuku' - regret always comes long after the wise words of caution. I have since discovered I have a thing for bad boys - Ok maybe not the extremely bad but the exciting bad – if at all that is a justification. I tend to see these guys as fun loving, out going but unfortunately they lack depth and run at the first sight of responsibility.
Anyway that is not what today's story is about.
So MM after the usual glee that follows an I-told-you-so discussion, went all serious. He knows and understands me very well. We began talking about funny stories that have been in the media lately and the story of Samuel Wanjiru's mum came up. It was amazing how many men came up claiming that they were Sam's father. But why do such things happen, I mean what would make so many men come up after many years of absenteeism and would the same thing have happened if Sam was your regular Joe?
In my opinion it all boils down to reactions. How people react to different situations. Take for instance how men react to the revelation that a woman is a single mother. I am not referring to the kind hearted souls who have your best interest at heart, am talking about a majority of the men see the woman as an easy catch. They pursue with comforting words, use her and leave her more vulnerable than she was.
Women’s reaction – In most cases desperation and a feeling that she needs to redeem herself or correct her mistake. From my observation, when a woman is dumped after declaring that she is pregnant, it is very easy for her to get a second pregnancy from a different man altogether, or in some cases the same guy who damped her in the first place.
This is because there is a feeling of vulnerability that comes upon a woman struggling on her own. Also, the number of “shoulder’s to lean on” increase almost overnight. I mean the number of fake male empathizers who surfaced and to ask me what kind of loser would let go of a beautiful lady and a dotting son. Of course the empathy was limited to fun with no stings attached. Fortunately for me I was too disillusioned by the departure of SG to even go out with anyone, plus I had sworn off men for at least one and a half years. Also for me I had a session with my pastor that went a long way in sobering me up. I will be eternally grateful.
Back to Sam Wanjiru’s Mum, perhaps after the real dad of Sam dumped the her, she probably went for the nearest shoulder (s) to cry on. Of course such comforting sessions maybe accompanied by a roll in the hay. She may not have thought such harmless fun would haunt her so many years later.
If you find yourself in the same situation I would recommend that before you go for comfort to people who have none of your interests at heart, then you are left stranded and humiliated by the number of "fathers" claiming ownership not only of the physical assets but also of the investment of time, sweat and tears that it has taken to raise the child, Think twice and even thrice or four times if necessary.
If you find yourself in the same situation I would recommend that before you go for comfort to people who have none of your interests at heart, then you are left stranded and humiliated by the number of "fathers" claiming ownership not only of the physical assets but also of the investment of time, sweat and tears that it has taken to raise the child, Think twice and even thrice or four times if necessary.
No comments:
Post a Comment